Thursday, August 5, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Tottenham Hotspur

Harry Houdini. He has been a revelation in the past two years at Tottenham, taking them from near bottom in 2008 to a fourth place finish in 2010. They have played some great football this year, the thrashing of Wigan by 8 goals was a particular highlight. Europe is a reward they well deserved, although it may put quite a strain on their premier league ambitions. They will need more defensive cover and some of the fringe midfielders, the likes of David Bentley and Giovanni Dos Santos to improve their game. They are spoiled for striking talent: Keane, Defoe, Pavlyuchenko, Crouch and Gudjohnsen as backup. If Harry can sprinkle some more magic they should reach the group stage and maybe even the knock out rounds of the Champions League. But I don’t think they can hang on to fourth place in the Premiership.

Last Season: 4th

My Prediction: 6th

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Wigan Athletic

People betting on Wigan last season must have come close to heart attack each game. Without a doubt they were the most unpredictable team in the league, they could go from winning by two goals against Chelsea, then have nine goals pumped past them in a blow-out loss against Spurs. Roberto Martinez wanted to bring his free flowing football style from Swansea and while it was spectacular, it wasn’t effective over the course of the season; expect that to change dramatically. The signings of James McCarthy and Ronnie Stam in midfield will help, but I wonder whether they will be able to fill the void if Charles N'zogbia leaves the club. Still, if Hugo Rodallega can continue to bag goals they should be fine to avoid relegation. However a top half finish seems out of reach.

Last Season: 16th

My Prediction: 14th

Monday, August 2, 2010

Helping Hand

This one is already a timeless classic. In the recent Women's Under 20 World Cup Semi-Final between South Korea and Germany, a South Korean defender shows complete disregard for the handball rule as she catches the rebound from a shot that hit the crossbar. Hilarious.




20 Days, 20 Predictions: Blackpool

The last team to make it to the Promised Land via the playoffs. They did manage to win the knockout challenge, but finishing 6th in the championship 9 points behind Nottingham Forest in 3rd place does not inspire much confidence for the new season. As I had mentioned before, the Premier League is a completely different story so they need to focus on getting results at home, playing a more defensive game than they are used to. Their lack of activity in the transfer market is unsettling; they have the smallest squad in the league with 21 players available. At least 5 players are needed and they should raid clubs for young stars on loan desperate for first team experience. Everyone wants to see a promoted club survive, but I just can’t see it happening for them.

Last Season: Promoted via Playoffs

My Prediction: 20th

Sunday, August 1, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Sunderland

Things started well for Sunderland last season, Darren Bent was playing like a man possessed at times and they rose as high as 6th in the league and they were midtable by Christmas. It didn’t last and a poor run of form saw them slip down the table to finish third, the consequence of surrendering leads at half time on many occasions. Hopefully they will soon have the services of their no. 1 , Craig Gordon, after a long injury layoff. They are also looking to retain John Mensah at the back and have signed Fraizer Campbell to a new contract. The season looks to be a bright one for the Stadium of Light.

Last Season: 13th

This Season: 11th

Saturday, July 31, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Liverpool

Liverpool have probably made the signing of the summer in Roy Hodgson. With last year’s campaign one to forget, they certainly had to restructure from the top.They have had no respite either, already having to qualify for the group stages of the Europa League earlier this week. Having already invested in Milan Jovanovic as another striking option as well as Joe Cole on a free transfer, the Reds will hopefully move away from the Torres/Gerrard approach and build a solid team. Their main worry will be the likes of Aston Villa, Manchester City and Tottenham; the Anfield faithful will want their top 4 status back. Its a tough one to call but I think they may miss out.

Last Season: 7th

My Prediction: 6th

Friday, July 30, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Newcastle

All is well with the world on Tyneside once again, as the revered black and white striped shirts of Newcastle return to the Premier League after a one year absence. Like most had predicted, they bounced right back from relegation to win the Championship, but the upper echelon of English football will be a tougher proposition. Their squad seems to be good enough to stay in the league; Sol Campbell will bring good experience at the back and they are creative if not dogged in midfield and attack. St. James Park will need to be a fortress if they are to avoid the drop this year.

Last Season: Promoted (Championship Winners)

My Prediction – 17th

Thursday, July 29, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Everton

Last season was a case of what might have been for Everton. Blighted by injuries early on in the season, they struggled to get any momentum going until after January, by which point it was too late to mount a serious challenge for European places. That being said, they had a great run of form in the New Year, with key wins against Manchester United and Chelsea. They have already suffered a setback this summer, with the loss of Dan Gosling to Newcastle on a free transfer under odd circumstances. Still, they possess quality in all areas of the pitch when the first team is fit; Cahill, Pienaar looked great at the World Cup while Arteta and Fellaini will be firing on all cylinders again. They have also signed Jermaine Beckford from Leeds which is a welcome boost upfront; expect a top ten finish from the blue half of Merseyside.


Last Season – 8th

My Prediction – 7th

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Fulham

What now is the question for Fulham FC. Their influential manager Roy Hodgson who almost performed a minor miracle last season has been plucked by Liverpool. He was the master tactician; the glue that kept the team together and it will be hard to replace him. Whoever takes over has a well-balanced squad that can compete in the league, especially if they can hang onto Mark Schwarzer in goal. They also have the likes of Danny Murphy and the influential Clint Dempsey in midfield so a top half question is well within reach; I can’t see Europe being a major distraction for them this term. They need to hire a quality manager and soon so that they can get started on the right foot.

Last Season – 9th

My Prediction – 9th

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Birmingham City

Alex Mcleish did a stellar job with his team last season. It wasn’t pretty at times, but it was effective enough to help the promoted boys to a top half finish. Barry Ferguson and Lee Bowyer revived their careers with some gutsy performances. With new money from the East in the form of Carson Yeung, they have already invested in Ben Foster to replace Joe Hart in goal and have boosted their attacking qualities with Nikola Zigic (signed from Valencia CF) upfront. Their squad is talented enough to achieve 9th place again which would delight the St. Andrews faithful. However they may fall prey to the second season slump.

Last Season – 9th

My Prediction – 11th

Monday, July 26, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Aston Villa

I really do feel for Villa, they seem to be the biggest losers from Manchester City’s influx of capital. Last season they took Gareth Barry off their hands. Now James Milner's protracted departure for Eastlands is all but inevitable. Filling the void in midfield will be a tough ask, but they will need more than that to break into the top four. They have a solid backline and midfield that were formidable last season. Not to mention a host of former England Under 21 internationals at their disposal. We should also not forget Fabian Delph, the young midfielder signed from Leeds last season; this could be his chance to prove his worth. Their forwards need to live up to their potential and ability to give them a fighting chance. However, in Martin O’Neill they have a quality manager, and with a few shrewd signings from the sale of Milner, I could see them being the dark horse of the season if they start well.

Last Season – 6th

My Prediction – 5th

Sunday, July 25, 2010

20 Days, 20 Predictions: Arsenal

People, we have 20 days left until all is right with the world once more. The Premier League is set to kickoff on Saturday, August 14th. Let’s take a quick look at each team’s chances before the start of the season.

Arsenal

Arsene’s young guns will be back at it again attempting to break their trophy drought this season. At this point, they seem to have retained the services of captain Cesc Fabregas for at least one more year. The arrival of Laurent Koscielny will be a welcome boost at the back, while Marouane Chamakh will allow for greater output upfront. The Gunners will do well to better their position from last year, but may need a few more signings to truly challenge for the title and compete in Europe. I alse see them playing stronger teams in the domestic cups as they search for silverware; to do this they need greater depth in squad or they may compromise their league chances.

Signings to make: A new goal keeper (Mark Schwarzer, Igor Akinfeev) and more cover in defence (Brede Hageland) to replace William Gallas who is probably on his way out.

Last Season - 3rd

My Prediction – 3rd

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Thierry Henry Interview Train Wreck

If you ever hope to be a quality journalist, here's what not to do when interviewing Thierry Henry. Notice how they continue to play the most acrimonious clip of his career (his handball against Ireland) in the background and interview him like a child. Well done Fox NY.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Va Va Voom in New York

Anfield, Liverpool, January 6th 2007. 83rd minute. An FA Cup third round match sees Arsenal visit the home of league rivals Liverpool on a cold, blistery night. Two goals from Thomas Rosicky and one in reply from Dirk Kuyt have given the gunners a slim lead. Suddenly he has the ball in the centre circle and plays it into the wide expanse of field on the left. Jamie Carragher tries to shield it but the he bustles him off the ball and bursts into the box. He cuts past Agger and slots home past Pepe Reina to seal a memorable 3 – 1 victory.

As a lifetime supporter of Manchester United, this was my guilty pleasure. Without a doubt he is the best striker, if not the best player that has ever graced the Premier League. Regardless of who you supported, it was a treat to see the number 14 glide away with his silky cool running celebration after strikes that would often be goals of the week. We bought his boots, we emulated his moves. We all wanted to be Henry.

Thierry Henry’s recent move to the New York Red Bulls may not be an appropriate way to conclude his illustrious career, after a mediocre spell by his standards at Barcelona. Hopefully we will be able to see some more magic from the Frenchman on the east coast. But at 32 years of age, it will probably be his last move. Unsurprisingly many commentators have called the MLS a retirement home for former stars, a warm and cozy place to settle down as their limelight fades.





But is this a good way for the MLS to improve their standing on the world stage? There are several former European stars that ply their trade here these days; Freddie Ljunberg (Seattle), Juan Pablo Angel (New York) and of course David Beckham of Los Angeles.

These and other players coupled with the successes of the US National team and some clever marketing have seen a rise in the popularity of the league since its inception in 1993. To its credit, the MLS has grown rapidly in tough conditions, the limited avenues for commercialization that US sports thrive on and indifference to ‘soccer’ the two main culprits.

However this policy does not seem sustainable. The quality of play is still an issue. Sure, you can have beautiful stadia, decent young players and brilliant marketing. But if there is no craft to match the graft MLS will struggle to attract quality players that aren’t looking to wind down their careers from abroad.

To fully exploit the talent that North America has, MLS clubs should embrace the youth model that almost all other clubs follow, nurturing talent from an early age. The college system is a great outlet for players, but more work is required to improve the home grown players outside this avenue. This also serves to better the national team. Once the quality of players increases, the rest won’t necessarily fall into place, but it will certainly make it a lot easier to grow.

As I write this, I am watching a friendly between San Jos Quakes and Tottenham Hotspur. During the half time break, there will be a special report of Henry’s upcoming MLS debut. The iconic number 14 has already brought welcome interest to the sport in the states. His va-va-voom will assist the league’s popularity but more will be required from the clubs’ before it can reach its goal.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Unorthodox World Cup Awards for Excellence 2010

So at the end of a great tournament, there will be the official golden boot, golden ball and best goal awards. Then the sports pundits will talk at length about the best games of the tournament and why they were amazing. Well this is for those of you who love football and those of you who have just learned to appreciate it magnificence. I give you the awards that FIFA is not brave enough to endorse, the accolades that shed light on the acts of those brave men who take to the field to battle, to entertain; these modern day gladiators. I give you the Unorthodox World Cup Awards for Excellence 2010. Chosen by a panel of judges made up exclusively of yours truly.

The Cristiano Ronaldo Award for Achievement in Diving and Simulation

Daniel De Rossi - Italy

Notable Mention: Cristiano Ronaldo, Mesut Özil, Arjen Robben

The winner of this award must show complete contempt for the rules of the game, consider fair play unnecessary and think that the referee and the millions of people watching around the world will turn their backs for a few seconds. Marks are awarded for distance from tackler, vertical distance, and number of body rolls in the fetal position clutching an ankle. Facial expressions of excruciating pain are a plus. The award therefore goes to Daniel De Rossi for his effort against Paraguay. Watch as he collapses like a villain shot in a Bollywood movie, then proceded to claim innocence. Had I written this in 2006 it would have gone to his countryman Fabio Grosso, for a similar, yet more effective effort against Australia. The Azzurri continue to dominate this award. Well done.



The Keane/Scholes Tackling Award – Nigel De Jong - Netherlands

Notable Mention: Mark Van Bommel, Dennis Aogo, Felipe Melo

This award is for those that excel in the dark art of missing the ball but not the man. I remember looking at this tackle on the replay and thinking it’s a good thing he didn’t go for the ball or he would have taken out poor Xabi Alonso’s head. An unbelievably reckless challenge and yet he managed to stay on the field. At least the impression left will allow the winner's medal to fit squarely in Alonso's chest, à la Tony Stark.




Best Player and Best Hair Joint Award – Diego Forlan - Uruguay

Notable Mention: Sulley Ali Muntari

If anyone led by example, it was this man. At the end of an illustrious campaign with Atletico Madrid, he was the undying flame in Uruguay’s attack at the tournament. Aside from a dull opening draw with France, he made his presence felt in every match. He marshalled the ball in midfield, dropping deeper than most attacking midfielders do to recover the ball. He scored with reckless abandon, his volley against Germany the pick of the lot. He tamed the infamous Jabulani ball from the set piece. The captain that never said die in every match. The game changer, the golden ball winner. And an aliceband to boot.

Best Dressed - Joachim Loew and Hansi Flick - Germany

No Mention – Milovan Rajevac

For men who look stressed all the time, they has such a sense for fashion that they deserve a column in GQ. I first noticed this at the European championships in 2008 and Jogi and Boo boo did not fail to disappoint. Each match featured Loew and his assistant Flick sporting the same “smart casual” look. My favourite ensemble? The blue sweater and sport jacket combo, worn against Spain in the semi-final.

Backseat Manager and Angry face of the Tournament - David Beckham -England

Notable Mention: English media, Brazil

If ever there was a face that spoke of pure, unbridled hate. The kind of hate that burns in your gut when something you love so dearly is taken away from you. The kind of hate you have when someone steals your car, then adorns it with profane graffiti and procedes to crash it into your front room. On your day off. For fun. When the ball spilled by Robert Green rolled over the line, Beckham’s face captured the emotion of a nation, united in shock and embarrassment. His team could’ve used him; he was more vocal and passionate than Capello on the bench. Future England manager?





Best Moment – Gio’s Postage Stamp Effort - Netherlands

This deserves to be watched again and again. And again. It should be played in every world cup highlight reel until something better shows up. It was one of those special goals; a goal so good, you remember where you were and what you were doing when you first saw it. Zidane’s Champions League winner. Ryan Giggs’ FA Cup effort against Arsenal. And Giovanni Van Bronkhorst’s screamer against Uruguay. My words cannot describe this event in football history. So here is a video. In the words of Ian Darke in the video below, it was "an absolute firecracker".





Best Goal Celebration - The Ghana Dance

Notable Mention: Andrés Iniesta, Asamoah Gyan, Miroslav Klose

There were lots of good celebrations; Argentina’s whole team celebrations, Arne Friedrich’s Jurgen Klinsmann impression, and Siphiwe Tshabalala’s ‘drive the bus’ routine. But none stand out for me like the Ghanaian dance, performed after the winner in the Serbia group game and after the match against USA game. Learn it.



Team of the Tournament – The All Whites of New Zealand

This team was something else. They were called the polar opposite of the more successful All Blacks rugby team. They had to beat the football powerhouses of Vanauatu and Samoa to get to South Africa. They came up against the former World Champions Italy, Slovakia who qualified first in their European group and Paraguay … who ar South American. They had never scored a point at a World Cup. No one expected them to get through. They did not win at all. But they did not lose a single match. They were the only unbeaten team in the tournament. Wonderfully done.

Well done to all the winners, we salute you.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

If only there was an award for the best team nickname

The World Cup has lost its best named teams. The Indomitable lions were dumped out like timid cats. The Desert Foxes proved less than cunning enough to get past the group stage. Les Éléphants of Côte d’Ivoire were once again poached in the group of death. And the hosts of the tournament, Bafana Bafana, missed out on the after party that was the round of 16. The hosts of Sesame Street teaches Soccer (to guess who I think Oscar the Grouch is, read my previous post), or ESPN’s World Cup team were baffled as to why this has happened.

Followers of the US national team know only too well that the Black Stars of Ghana were the only African team left in the tournament. Few thought they would make it out of their group, even less believed that they would defeat the US in the round of 16, on this side of the Atlantic anyway. Both teams play a similar game, strong in midfield, quick to catch the opposition on the counter attack and slightly questionable defending supported by heroic goalkeeping ability.

Perhaps it was the weight of expectation on the US team. Or maybe the support of an entire continent that propelled Ghana through. In any case their victory was testament to what an organized African football team can achieve, even without their talismanic midfielder Michael Essien.

The subsequent quarter final against Uruguay will forever be remembered for the hand of Suarez that denied Ghana a winner in the last minute of extra time. This sparked a holier-than-thou response from a wide range of viewers which I think is understandable given the support for the Ghanaian team, but unjustified. Luis Suarez unfortunately did what anyone else would’ve done. The fact of the matter is that he was too short to head it out, so he used his hand on the goal-line.

As I watched the telenovela that was being played out in Soccer city at an Ethiopian bar in Philadelphia, the tension was palpable. In my No. 8 Essien top, I hoped that Gyan kept a cool head as he had done previously in the tournament. But the man from Rennes skied it, seemingly losing his footing under the pressure, derailing the hopes of Ghanaians and all those who had hopped aboard their miracle train journey.

Before I reopen this can of worms, let’s remember that we could have been talking about a famous Ghanaian win had Gyan not clipped the crossbar with his spot kick. Going out on penalty kicks is a cruel way to go but this is football. The debate will rage on elsewhere on the moral grounds of what Suarez did. I’m not here to teach an ethics class, so let’s get back on track.

Why then, out of 6 African teams did only 1 make it through to the Promised Land? It’s no secret that some of the best clubs in Europe are loaded with the continent’s most lauded players. Samuel Eto’o, just won his second treble of championships with two different clubs, Barcelona and Inter Milan. The French Ligue 1 is often the first port of call for talent from West and North Africa. Lest we forget Chelsea’s deadly African quartet.

Certainly, it isn’t for a lack of talent as, on paper, individual players hold their own against their European and South American counterparts. As a Manchester United fan, it hurts me to say it but Didier Drogba was the top scorer in the Premier League this past season. So was Mamadou Niang (Senegalese) with Marseille in France.

The managers aren’t half bad either. Paul le Guen, the recently dismissed coach of Cameroon has won numerous French accolades with Lyon and Paris Saint Germain. So it’s not entirely their fault, given the pressure they are put under and the time constraints from the Football Associations of the nations they manage.

And in that paragraph, we find the problem. There’s no escaping the fact that African football associations are poorly managed and inefficient. Expecting immediate results by changing managers more often than team kits are introduced is what I think the issue is. The job security of a manager of an African national team often depends on the result of the next game.

This lack of continuity prevents teams from being able to build on their successes or failures. It is almost impossible to create a game winning formula within 3 months, the usual time period between the CAN and the World Cup. There is no time to gain familiarity, understand the players at your disposal and get them to gel and play well together.

This happened to Nigeria, Cameroon and Ivory Coast in January this year after exiting the African Cup of Nations (CAN) in January. Losses in the second round of the tournament and in come experienced European coaches, chosen for their name, their credibility. Instead we get ill-timed appointments of managers who haven’t an ounce of experience of getting the best out of teams from the continent and precious little time to learn how.

It’s hardly surprising that Nigeria and Cameroon never really got it together in the group stage and crashed out spectacularly. Ivory Coast may have been drawn in the group of death, but do I think they would’ve stood a chance without such disruption? Yes.

It is painfully obvious to see what continuity can do. The Pharaohs of Egypt have won the CAN three times in a row. Their manager, Hassan Shehata has been with them since 2004. He also managed the youth team to victory the youth version of the tournament in 2003. Hmmm.

Recently Ghana has given their managers 2 year stints, with changes AFTER major tournaments. The results? A round of 16 World Cup exit in Germany in 2006, a third place finish in CAN 2008 and a runner up spot in CAN 2010 to Egypt. They are the holders of the Under 20 world championship. Lest we forget their recent world cup quarter final exit. Hmmmmm.

Is it really this simple? Making changes at logical pauses if necessary and not firing coaches a whim? It seems to be the case. Even South Africa, hardly a football powerhouse, showed the world what a team and manager given time to mature can do. No one would have thought that they would be the second best African team at the tournament. Critics said they didn’t stand a chance; they would have probably laughed it off and would have sooner bet on Vicente Del Bosque cracking a smile. Well, they aren’t laughing now. Neither is Del Bosque.

Now is the time for Nigeria, Cameroon and Ivory Coast to get their houses in order and rebuild. It is a lesson not only for them but for all African football federations. Consistency and better management are key. They need to change, or at least fine tune their approach, at all age levels of the game, noting that the Ghanaian team was essentially their Under 20 World Cup winning team. Maybe not as drastically as Goodluck Jonathan though.

Shaun Bartlett, one of the analysts on ESPNs World Cup panel – also known as ESPN’s My First World Cup – made the same observation. I pray for the sake of the continent that each African country with a decent pool of football talent takes heed. I love the fact that as an African I felt a huge sense of pride to see Bafana Bafana and the Black Stars do well at this World Cup. I would like to feel the same way for The Cranes or Harambee Stars someday.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

My First Post

Yes, it is the first post on my blog so in the spirit of firsts, I could talk about the first World Cup on African soil. Because you clearly haven’t been reminded of the fact by ESPN, Sky Sports and the rest of the world’s broadcasters. Please don’t interpret this as cynicism, I am beaming with pride that it is in South Africa, I just grow tired of commentators filling up time by saying it over and over again.

What is a first is ESPN’s complete coverage of the tournament. Credit where credit is due; ESPN has broadcasted all the matches live and the commentary has been excellent. Granted some concessions have been made with the content. Most American sports are filled with relevant statistics which, when applied to football, lack the same effect.

My only concern right now with the team is their analysis, or lack thereof, from the studio team. Maybe I’m just being old fashioned, but during the pre-match, half time and post-match analyses, you should be analysing the game in question, and not a game that was played earlier. I am also of the belief that match highlights should include chances and not just goals.

So you can imagine my frustration, when watching the condensed, half time show laden with commericials during the Italy/New Zealand game when they cut back to show highlights of the so-called foul by Maurice Edu in the USA Slovakia game, a game which was occurred 2 days ago.

Now I fully agree with the sane football watching public that it was a terrible decision and the goal should have stood. The officiating was atrocious that day and in that game in particular. When I come to power, such officials may be round up and shot. Not dead mind you.

However, constantly hearing ESPN analyst Alexi Lalas ranting (in this clip right after the game) about how there wasn’t a foul doesn’t change the fact that the game has passed and that people should move on, especially during a half time show for another game. We all know FIFA will not do anything about the result, but the referee in question may not have escaped Blatter’s wrath just yet. And no, Andy Roddick’s opinion on the decision is not helpful either.

It is a shame that they couldn’t get a more qualified anchor either. Bob Ley, who has been a sports caster with ESPN for 30 years now, almost fooled us with his winning smile. But the man knows as much about football as Paul Scholes does about tackling. Who can blame him; it’s still a sport lagging behind American football and basketball. It is a sport that is “too simplistic” according to Marc Fisher of the Washington Post.

Fisher has a very close minded view though and I won’t be drawn into the debate as to why Americans don’t like football because there are not enough pages in this blog to have a fair argument. Yes we don’t like their brand of the sport so they don’t have to like ours. Hate it or love it it's here to stay. I have nothing more to say on the matter for now.

But if they are going to broadcast, they should do it the way the rest of the world does. The quality of the show is terrible. How can ESPN allow a novice to host a football analysis show? You cannot make that stuff up; you have to know what you’re talking about so that your conversations with the analysts don’t fall flat. It is not and should never be scripted.

The analysts are allowed to be partial, that’s why they’re there. They aren’t allowed to be useless. At this point may I just say that I’m not singling out the US analysts, but Alexi Lalas has left a lot to be desired. The gulf in quality between him and Shaun Bartlett, Ruud Gullit and Steve McManaman is all too noticeable. Don’t get me wrong; I think that there should be another American analyst present. Americans do understand football contrary to what the rest of the world thinks, as shown by their national team. However, when you are a former professional player and cannot dig deeper into the reason why the Algerian keeper made a complete hash of save other than to say, “He should save that, c’mon!” you should consider a different profession.

As an aside this isn’t to say that the problem is limited to ESPN. BBC made the slightly curious decision of choosing Togolese superstar Emmanuel Adebayor, known for his goals scoring ability and his lack of command of the English language, to analyse the some of the matches aired in the UK. Even they make mistakes.

A good friend of mine pointed out to me that it may be due to the football's low appeal in the States and the need to market it to a wider viewing public. I fully agree but I think that this may only serve to push people away. People may not understand the sport that well (or at all for that matter) , but they are not brain-dead. Yes, explain the offside rule, explain the concept of injury time. But watering down analysis to a such levels seen helps no one and is tremendously boring . The ESPN axis segment is good,but the rest of it is like watching grass grow for 15 minutes, in ground starved of hydration and fertilizer. And if the public isn't watching, AT&T, Hyundai and all those summer blockbusters wont pay ESPN a dime for ad space. Cameron Diaz and co. wont stick around if there's no money in it.

So, please ESPN, we know that it is hard to change your ways, but some sports just need to be broadcast and analysed in a certain way. We want more than comparisons of New Zealand to their rugby team, discussion about Argentina's chances and not about Maradona's sideline antics, and more about why England may, in the words of Phil McNulty , "be back home with more than one British tennis player still involved at Wimbledon" than Alexi's complete, thorough, 2 second analysis in which he stated " they're just not that good ".

The worldwide leader in sports should learn from the world that it serves. Let me put it this way: I wouldn’t want Tommy Smythe (with a y) calling the NBA playoffs, not because he’s Scottish, but because he would call technicals 'yellow cards', patiently wait for injury time and not realise you can make more than three substitutions.